So yesterday was my birthday, very exciting.
Even if I wanted to I could not forget since so many sweet people congratulated me on it.
Realizing how time is passing by can be terrifying but also a great inspiration to stop for a minute to reflect on things, on life in general.
So here are my current thoughts on stepping in my early twenties:
1.It's okay to be lost
It's okay to not know what you want and it's okay to be at a point of your life you never imagined yourself to be. Being lost could lead to two things: finding your path again or finding something even better than that. When it comes to psychology and human nature, they say your body completely rebuilds itself every 7 years, so getting in your early twenties might also mean getting to know a completely new you, who might appear like a stranger at first. Know any good songs about not recognizing yourself in the mirror? I most certainly do.
I read about this in a book written by an empowering woman talking her theory: a woman's twenties are for finding and defining what she actually wants and her thirties are for actually searching and fighting for that goal. Reading this took down weights of many years being pressured to know (and pursue) one absolute career, finding the so-searched soulmate or having the perfect body for that matter. Life does come with an expiry date so I'm not saying not live life to the fullest or not have motivations or ambitions, it's just about accepting that these things might take a little more time to come around.
2.Friends are life altering
The people you surround yourself is who you end up becoming. This is why you need to be careful who you let into your life and who you spend your energy on. There are people out there who are called energy vampires and the only thing they do is drown you down. Now I don't want to complain or depict myself older than I actually am, but most of the time I'm already tired to begin with, I do not need an extra emotional exhaustion in my life.
While cutting off toxic people might look like the hardest and most difficult thing in the world (I know it way too well) it is most certainly worth it in the long term and in the short term. When you think about it, these people might tire you out or piss you off sometimes but the thing is that in the end of the day the only person who has to put up with the consequences of their actions is you if you let them treat you in certain ways.
On the other hand, concentrating on the positive side, the same is true for inspiring people. Happiness and smiling are contagious so if you have happy and optimistic people around you, you're definitely more likely to have a life filled with laughers and joy.
3.Show your body the love it deserves
In the days of today, many of us live sedentary lives, mostly sitting in front of our zoom classes and barely doing any work. While exercising is very important to keep up a good physique, it is also important for our cardiovascular health. Nevertheless, caring about your body is not just about moving it but also being mindful about the food and drinks you put in it. Show it some love by taking your vitamins regularly at least.
4.There is only one thing you have access to: this very moment
Most of us have the tendency to look in two directions: the past and the future. Some melancholiacs are always stuck in the past with the what ifs and whys but here is the ultimate truth about the past: no matter what you do, you cannot change it. As a fellow overthinker I understand, I do. It's like looking for lost puzzle pieces because we believe they are necessary for the great picture of now or of the tomorrow for that matter. All I can say, that these pieces might be lost for a reason.
The opposite direction is impatiently waiting for the future to arrive. I remember, I noticed this in middle school: as puberty was developing in some of us and the puppy love started blossoming, many of these forming couples were already so worried about the breakup that they couldn't even enjoy the excitement of this new feeling. This also really applies to Erasmus: you can't fully enjoy your new friendships and experiences if all you can think about are missing home and the fear of the last goodbye.
5.Whatever you are interested in, it's okay
This is kind of related to the next topic because my main example is "the not like other girls" trophy. As we grow up, society teaches us that liking girly stuff is a sign of weakness while "being one of the boys" is admirable and something to look up to. Since when should anyone tell us what to like? Is a your circle of interests even relevant if it's dictated by other people?
So many people are shy and ashamed of admitting they like astrology or they believe in the healing energy of crystals or they just like sloppy romantic musicals just a bit too much but they shouldn't be. The more unique an interest is the more unique you are. Also, this is what unites people, so why not be open about it so you finally don't have to go alone to the opera disguised as if you were three kids in a trench coat sneaking into the theatre.
6.We should empower each other instead of tearing each other down
I'm very ashamed of this but back in the days when I also thought that "girls are stupid, masculine energy is cool" I despised feminism but now I grow into the position to realize how much we actually need it even in today's world. Girls, from a girl's point of view, tend to call out each other in pity things like for example, not wearing a bra. I actually overheard a conversation like this and I just started thinking: why does it matter? Why wouldn't we look up to these women as the next generation of the warriors who burned their lingerie? We should really start lifting each other up, because a world of misogyny will only profit when we are against each other.